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Hosiprog: A Beast Named Spot January 28, 2008

Posted by William Spear in >> News, >> Out Basket.

In Dennis Rookard’s recent update on Hosiprog, he rather harshly demeaned the organization’s blogger. We went back for a further explanation, but Rookard, the self-proclaimed man behind it all, was still down in the local pub, and passed the task on to the blogger who is also the studio dog.  What follows is the little hound’s reply.


Hi gang. Spot the dog here. I like to think that I’m rather like that famous HMV dog – you know the little hound doing his masters voice trick before an old wind up gramophone.

Well not around here mate.  According to Rookard the only thing I’m useful for is dumping in the cooking pot. Says I fart all over the place, scratch my private parts and he keeps stepping into my doggy doo’s…  Bloody thing will have to go he shouted the other day. But I have a crafty plan. Keep out of his way and tell you all the dirt and gossip from the Hosiprog studio.

So what has the cretin, Rookard, been up too?   Well the big news from Castle Rookard is that we have been forced to leave our old website. As cretin in charge, Rookard put this down to the site wanting a major revamp and design change. Personally I reckon it had more to do with our old landlord getting upset with all the wild parties and orgies held by his so called actor friends. They should never be let out off stage or out of a recording studio in my view.  Lovies the lot of them, all “Darling” this and “must motivate myself into my part dear.”  Then arguing among themselves over who gets top billing.

Mind you Rookard doesn’t help.  You will not believe this, “But,” he said, full beer mug in hand down the pub the other night, that “the reason his name should be featured in large bold type on our covers was simple. To hell,” he said “with the actors from the Essex Audio Theatre, not to mention the authors who slave over their scripts. Only he, as the power behind Hosiprog,” – you know recording, directing, editing designing and sometimes banging out the odd script – “only he should be the one to have to billing.”

Still have to say the site looks rather nice; Joanne nipped into the studio to lay down a jolly jingle to welcome web surfers to the site, and the really clever bit is if you click the mouse over a cover, you’ll get a five minute audio preview.  The other thing is this production deal we’ve done with the would famous Sherlock Holmes Society of London. One of their leading lights is Roger Johnson, an old drinking buddy of Rookard’s, who suggested it might be fun to record all the known stories of the great detective. So far they have six 30 minute productions in the can, and more to follow. By the way, fans, I feature as the hound of the Baskervilles. Good part as well, I enjoyed having all that blood poured over me, as well as the heavy make up. As usual Rookard said I over acted as going round biting the actor playing Sherlock was not in the game plan.  But hey, that’s show biz.

Sadly we have lost the pictures of the lovely Joanne from the old site. You know the shots featuring her in the all together draped over the mixing desk in studio one.  And the others of her showing off her naked body during a lunch break on Location.

As I told Rookard, losing those photos would cut down the visitors to our new site by 95 percent.  But did he listen. No way, only kicked me up the backside and shouted that it was the dog kennel for me. And as we have snow forecast for tonight, it going to be very cold.


Thanks, Spot, for that up to the minute gossip from castle Rookard. If the old boy gets out of line, send a call ’round to the ASPCA. Or, take a bite out of him.

Contact details:

Spot’s blog at Hosiprog


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