Great Beginnings: “It’s Town Hall Tonight!”

Fred Allen was on CBS and NBC from 1932 to 1949 with sponsors ranging from Hellman’s Mayonnaise to Texaco Oil Company to Ford Motor Company. Along with the talents of Portland Hoffa, Walter Tetley, Charlie Cantor, John Brown, Minerva Pious, Kenny Baker, Wynn Murray, Alan Reed, and Parker Fennelly, the show featured the music of Ferde Grofe’s Orchesta, Lennie Hayton’s Orchesta, and Al Goodman’s Orchestra.

As if that wasn’t enough, the show also enjoyed some of the greatest Announcers of all time: Kenny Delmar, Ken Roberts, and Harry von Zell.

In the midst of Allen’s run was Town Hall Tonight. From 1934 - 1940, Allen and Company offered a weekly 60-minute show of humor, satire, and music.

. . .

MUSIC: UP AND QUICKLY ESTABLISH: THEME. UNDER TO BED.

ANNOUNCER: An hour of smiles, it’s Town Hall Tonight, folks. Sixty minutes of fun and music brough to you by Ipana toothpaste and Sal Hepatica. Ipana for the smile of beauty; Sal Hepatica for the smile of health. Fun with our star comedien Fred Allen. Music with Peter Van Steeden. New features, new laughs. It’s Town Hall Tonight!

SFX: UP AND QUICKLY ESTABLISH: CROWD CHEERING. UNDER TO BED.

MUSIC: LET THEME BREATHE. UNDER TO BED.

ANNOUNCER: Here they come - Dionne Quintuplets . . .

LADY: Aren’t the babies on exhibition this evening, Doctor?

DOCTOR: No madam. The little tots are busy at their radios. It’s Town Hall Tonight.

SFX: LET SFX BREATHE.

MUSIC: LET THEME BREATHE.

ANNOUNCER: . . . Farmer . . .

FIRST FARMER: What’s the idea of putting a radio in your henhouse, Clem?

SECOND FARMER: Hen’s can learn plenty about laying eggs from that Allen, Zeb. It’s Town Hall Tonight.

SFX: LET SFX BREATHE.

MUSIC: LET THEME BREATHE.

ANNOUNCER: . . . G-Men . . .

G-MAN: But this is hardly a case for the G-Men, lady.

LADY: It sure is. Those thieves stole my radio, Mr. Hoover, and it’s Town Hall Tonight.

SFX: UP AND OUT.

MUSIC: UP AND OUT.

. . .
Fred Allen was quoted as saying “A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.”

He needed neither for the world to recognize his brilliance.

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Great Beginnings: First Nighter and “the little theatre off Times Square”

The First Nighter program took listeners to “the little theatre off Times Square” to rub shoulders with celebrities attending each week’s premier on the great White Way.

It was also home to a popular drama anthology which ran for 23 years sponsored by Campana, Miller Beer and, later, sustained.

Hosted by Mr. First Nighter, played by Don Ameche, each show began with the sounds of Broadway and walking into a theatre. The following is the introduction for The Chinese Gong:

. . .

MR. FIRST NIGHTER: (COLD) Theatre time. Broadway’s buzzing with excitement and eagerly awaiting to welcome an opening night performance at the little theatre off Times Square. There’ll be a crowd of onlookers and autograph fans on hand at the entrance to greet the celebrities who always attend the premier on the great White Way. So let’s not miss a minute of the excitement.

SFX: BED: TRAFFIC SOUNDS, HORNS.

MR. FIRST NIGHTER: It’s just a short walk around the corner. Will you join me?

SFX: LET BED BREATHE.

MR. FIRST NIGHTER: There’re lots of uniforms in the crowd tonight at Broadway and 42nd Street. Shall we cross the street here?

SFX: BED: TRAFFIC SOUNDS, HORNS. THEATRE CROWDS MILLING ABOUT.

MR. FIRST NIGHTER: Well here we are at the little theatre off Times Square.

SFX: THEATRE CROWDS MILLING ABOUT. POLICE WHISTLES.

TICKET TAKER: (OFF MIC) Have your tickets ready, please. Have your tickets ready, please. (LET BED BREATHE: ON MIC) Good evening, Mr. First Nighter. The usher will show you to your box.

MR. FIRST NIGHTER: Thank you. We’ll go right in.

MUSIC: THEME: UP AND ESTABLISH.

MR. FIRST NIGHTER: We’ll here we are and every seat is taken. Advance theatre notices have heralded tonight’s play as a thriller packing plenty of excitement in every scene with the biggest surprise coming at the very end. Its title is The Chinese Gong and it was written by Arch Oboler. Topping an all star cast is our popular leading lady, Barbara Luddy, and opposite Miss Luddy is her guest leading man, Olan Soule. The play is pure fiction of course and does refer to real people or to actual events. And now, before first curtain, let’s listen to Eric Sagerquist’s First Nighter Orchestra.

MUSIC: UP AND ESTABLISH AND OUT.

. . .

We’ll take two tickets; front row center. Don’t worry about being late; they’ll hold the curtain for friends of the First Nighter.

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Great Beginnings: The Answer Man

From 1937 to 1956, in 15-minute intervals, Albert Mitchell was The Answer Man with a seemingly endless capacity for answering questions.

Created by Mitchell and Bruce Chapman, listeners would send in questions hoping for an answer. One million questions a year came in asking: How tall was Jesus?; What makes bubble gum bubble?; and Is it true that only the male cricket chirps? The Chapman staff would patrol the bookshelves of the New York Public Library looking for answers.

The shows would start as follows:

. . .

ANNOUNCER: Trommer’s White Label - the premium beer that is two ways light - presents Albert Mitchell’s program, The Answer Man. And here he is - The Answer Man.

 ALBERT MITCHELL: Good evening ladies and gentleman. Now if you’ll read the first question.

ANNOUNCER: Certainly . . . A West Orange, New Jersey man asks - Does the British Who’s Who still list Hitler’s telephone number?

ALBERT MITCHELL: Oh yes . . .

. . .

Mitchell would proceed to amaze his listeners by answering every question. He knew Hitler’s telphone number, Jesus’ height, and whether or not only the male cricket chirps or any of the other questions. He was reported to only have been stumped twice: How many buffalo would it take to fill the Grand Canyon? and Do birds dream?

Allow us to add a third - How could such fun ever be taken off the air?

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Great Beginnings: Mr. District Attorney

From 1939 through 1953, listeners tuned into the crime-busting exploits of Mr. District Attorney. Inspired by the efforts of New York City’s high-profile DA, Thomas E. Dewey, radio’s Mr. District Attorney was often at, or near the top of the ratings.

The show began with a burst of energy. The Announcer, performed by Maurice Franklin and later by Jay Jostyn, were the “Voice of the Law” and detailed the role and purpose of the District Attorney. Peter Van Steeden composed the theme and his orchestra performed the music.

The opening was as follows:

. . .

ANNOUNCER: (WITH GUSTO) Mr. District Attorney, champion of the people, defender of truth, guardian of our fundamental rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

MUSIC:  QUICKLY UP AND ESTABLISH: VAN STEEDEN’S THEME. SLOWLY UNDER TO BED.

ANNOUNCER: (WITH ECHO) And it shall be my duty as District Attorney, not only to prosecute to the limit of the law, all persons accused of crimes perpetrated within this county, but to defend with equal vigor the rights and privileges of all its citizens.

MUSIC:  THEME: UP AND SLOWLY OUT.

. . .

The series drew upon real-life crime and war news for its stories and developed a huge audience. It was later adapted to television with many of the radio cast members reprising their roles. Nonetheless, whether on radio or television, it broke up con games, solved spousal murders and captured burglars.

Now, about my traffic ticket from last year, . . .

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Great Beginnings: Bulldog Drummond

Based on the writings of “Sapper” - British officer and author Herman Cyril McNeile (1888 - 1937) - Bulldog Drummond was the civilian private detective adventures of Captain Hugh “Bulldog” Drummond, holder of Military Cross and Distinguished Service Order earned in World War One.

McNeile’s writing appeared in books and magazines and was adapted to film. The radio series ran mostly from 1941 through 1949 on Mutual although the network picked it up for another three months in early 1954.

In a 1935 article, McNeile described the character as a “strong and ugly hero.” Strong, indeed. Each show started as follows:

. . .

SFX:  BED: FOOTSTEPS ON CEMENT. BIG BEN STRIKES TWICE. OFF MIC: TWO FOGHORN BLASTS.

ANNOUNCER:  Out of the fog, out of the night, and into his American adventures comes Bulldog Drummond.

SFX:  TWO PISTOL SHOTS. POLICE WHISTLE BLOWS THREE TIMES.

. . .

Crossing media from books and magazines to films and radio, McNeile’s “strong and ugly” Bulldog Drummond had Great Beginnings.

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